Our Skin

Self-Image, Health, and the Battle Against Fat Phobia: Learning to Love Ourselves

Fat phobia is everywhere—in social media feeds, in offhand comments, in the "before" and "after" obsession of fitness culture. And while the science behind body size, health, and self-image has grown more nuanced, society has a lot of catching up to do.

Our culture has long equated thinness with health and beauty and has vilified weight gain as a sign of laziness or even failure. The truth is, though, it’s far from that simple. Weight and health are complex, interwoven with genetic factors, metabolic responses, lifestyle, and even deeper psychological roots. And yes, there are fat athletes, fat marathon runners, fat dancers, and fat people leading active, joyful lives. 

The Complexity of Weight and Health

We've grown up being taught to believe that BMI is an ultimate measure of health. In fact, weight can be a factor in health, but it isn’t the whole picture. A woman can have a "high" BMI and still have perfect blood pressure, heart scans, EKGs, and overall health. Many people metabolize nutrients differently due to factors like insulin resistance, which causes the body to hold on to more weight, especially around the midsection. Yet, we still receive oversimplified advice: "Just lose weight."

For those with insulin resistance or other metabolic issues, losing weight isn’t about willpower. It’s about biology. Weight loss in these cases is not as simple as eating less; it requires lifestyle adjustments, medication, and sometimes even medical support. 

A Legacy of Body Struggles

For many women, this struggle with weight is generational. Society's expectations are passed down like family heirlooms. A family lineage may have seen both ends of the spectrum: fat women, women with eating disorders, women fighting to find love for their bodies in a world that tells them they shouldn’t. These stories are not unique. Many women, have faced the trauma of body-shaming and restrictive ideals. 

Fat-phobia doesn’t just exist in the world; it lives within us, too. We're conditioned to see our bodies as failures if they don’t fit a thin mold. This self-directed fat phobia is so ingrained that we often self-sabotage, sometimes using food as comfort or as punishment, creating a vicious cycle of shame and coping that’s hard to break.

Health Beyond Weight: Bone Density, Metabolism, and Strength

Ironically, many assumptions about “fat” and “thin” are inaccurate, especially when it comes to health. For example, thin women are at higher risk for osteoporosis as they age, whereas plus-sized women often have better bone density, giving them greater resilience to fractures. And despite societal beliefs, weight alone isn’t a determinant of fitness. There are high-BMI individuals with the strength, endurance, and capability to outperform people with much lower BMIs. Strength, balance, flexibility, and cardiovascular health come from lifestyle and habits, not from body size alone.

Fat Phobia, Misogyny, and the Patriarchy

Fat phobia doesn’t exist in a vacuum; it’s deeply entangled with misogyny and societal expectations of women’s bodies. Women’s bodies are often treated as public property, scrutinized and policed by beauty standards that are, frankly, designed to make us feel inadequate. Fat phobia is yet another tool of the patriarchy, reminding women that we should be small, quiet, and take up as little space as possible. 

For those of us who exist in bodies that defy these standards, reclaiming space is an act of defiance. It’s choosing to see our bodies as deserving of respect, pleasure, and beauty in all forms. Fat people are beautiful and desirable. For many, being fat is not only part of who they are but also part of their identity and heritage.

Reclaiming Body Love: A Personal and Cultural Shift

Accepting and loving a body that’s been vilified isn’t easy. It requires peeling away years of conditioning, of internalized fat phobia, of learned self-hatred. But in doing so, we can transform. We can choose to see our bodies as resilient, as vessels that carry us, that have borne children, endured traumas, and continue to move us through life. They deserve to be cherished for that.

Changing how society views bodies of all sizes won’t happen overnight. But it starts within us—by questioning our own biases, challenging comments that shame, and letting go of the idea that thinness is synonymous with worthiness or health. Body diversity is real, and it’s time we learn to respect it. 

Fat, thin, or anywhere in between, our bodies are ours, and they deserve love. Not for how they look, but for all they’ve done for us.